A Facebook post asked the question, “Did y’all grow up in affectionate homes where you said I love you often?” I had to answer: “Yes, ‘I love you’ was said all the time by everyone in the family. This tradition goes at least four generations that I know of.” The more I thought about it, the more I realized love and affection go back at least to my great-great-grandfather, according to his letters home, but that’s a story for another time. Someone at church noticed I always said “I love you” along with giving a hug for each of my family members in the foyer. Yes, I grew up in an affectionate home. Some people have riches or fame for a legacy, but the legacy in my family was love and affection. Love and affection are expressed in many ways.
The expression of love and affection can be as simple as saying “I love you,” or other loving words, whether spoken or written. It can be a hug; it can be an act of kindness and service to another. Love and affection can be expressed by spending time together. Sometimes a gift is a thoughtful expression of love. Love is shown in the sacrifices made for another. Whatever form real love takes, lean in to fully experience it. Too often people are in a hurry and don’t take time for love. In my family, we lingered for love.
Romans 12:10 says this, “Be kindly affectioned one to another…” My mother emphasized this in the way we treated each other in our home. She made it a point of how we were to treat others outside of our family, as well. If I said someone had been mean to me at school, my mother impressed the lesson by saying, “We don’t know what kind of home they have.” My mother wanted me to be kind and loving to everyone. Those who did not have a good example of love at home needed kindly affection more than anyone else. My mother’s sympathy for those who were love impoverished influenced me to try to be kinder and more loving to everyone.
My mother adored her parents. My father did, as well. I was blessed to have two parents who prioritized family. But even if it was not your family’s experience, you can incorporate kindly affection in your own interactions with others. 1 John 4:19 says we can love others because God first loved us. God is the supreme example of love. When I let God’s love into my heart, I will love others. The daily news reminds me this kind of love is sadly lacking in our world. What the world needs now is a pandemic of kindly affection and love. There’s a song by F. E. Belden I loved to sing in the old hymnal of my childhood, “‘Tis Love that Makes Us Happy.” It may have been written in 1892, but the message still resonates today.
Because no one knows how long family members and friends will be here, my mother taught me to love and cherish each interaction as though it might be the last time. Sometimes, it is the last time. When my sister and my mother died so close in time to each other, I felt bereft without them. I could never forget those who loved me so much. One of my consolations was knowing I had loved them, pressed close to them, and leaned in for love every chance I got. Another consolation was the hope and promise of seeing them again one day. Their deaths reminded me life was precious, and I needed to love those who remained.
Down the road from my house there is a sheep barn. The surrounding hills provide plenty of grass where the sheep graze. There is a little pullout along the road where the shepherd parks his truck to tend to the sheep. Right where the shepherd parks and opens the gate the sheep press close to the fence to be as near to him as possible. You can see their wool caught along the fence. On this day, the sheep were in a far pasture, but if you look at the upper right corner of the picture, you can see the first sheep who ran to look down at the gate…had the beloved shepherd returned? It reminded me to be on the lookout for my Beloved Shepherd, Jesus Christ, and to press close to Him. Lean in for love. People are not perfect, but God’s love is.
I believe in love, forgiveness, and second chances.
Take care,
Charlyne